Hey, have you heard? There’s a new flu out that’s going to kill us all! Get yours today!
So today, the World Health Orangization will probably elevate the Swine Flu status to DefCon 6 (also known as full fledged panic…I mean pandemic). Does this worry you? Are you scared yet? Is it time to stock up on Tamflu and surgical masks?
I don’t think so. I may be wrong. After all, I’m not a professional. So far be it from me to disagree with the WHO (after all, their music isn’t bad). I mean, sooner or later, we will be overtaken by a superbug. But I don’t think this is it.
Okay, a bunch of people in several countries are getting sick, which is technically a pandemic. But how many have died in the United States? One. A toddler from Mexico where health care is more of a suggestion really. Globally, the death toll is up to a whopping seven whole people. Your standard run of the mill flu kills about 30,000 people per year. We’ve got a ways to go before this pandemic becomes anything to really worry about.
Now, yes, if you’re really young or really old, you might want to be more careful. But your average American will experience nothing but a bad cold, with the proper medical care. There’s no need to panic. Be careful, take care of yourself, wash your hands and, most importantly, live your life. On the unlikely chance you get swine flu (sorry, I forgot…”swine” flu is offensive to Jews and Muslims…we’re supposed to call it the “Mexican flu” now, since that’s not offensive to anyone…and apparently you can get it by eating Mexicans…), you have an even unliklier chance of actually dying from it. So stop worrying about the media-induced panic and get on with your life.
For the record, as I write this, my body aches and I’ve been coughing up small amounts of blood for a day and a half, so I have a bit of perspective when I say “Don’t worry about getting sick.” I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but will probably go if it persists. I doubt it’s the swine flu. Probably something much more commonplace, like tuberculosis. If that’s the case, I’m sure the WHO will be bleating about an epidemic in New York’s capital district in the near future.
